well, i'm not okay,


the nokia 7370 i possess now is my third phone. yes, my THIRD phone. not my thirtieth phone like some of the people i know. actually, i don't know anybody who already had his/her thirtieth phone.

anyway, before the nokia 7370, i own a nokia 3100. and before the nokia 3100, i own a nokia 6210. and, yes, i adore nokia.

when it was time to buy a new phone at the end of sec 2, my mom asked me to trade in my nokia 6210. i refused. she asked me why. i didn't bother to reply.

when it was time to buy a new phone this year, my mom (i think) once again asked me to trade in my nokia 3100. i refused. she asked me why. i didn't bother to reply.

actually, i think i did reply, but i think she didn't get what i was trying to say, so i guess its equivalent to not replying at all.

there was a reason why i didn't trade in my 6210. there was also a reason why i didn't trade in my 3100. the two reasons were the same.

6210 was my first phone. it was big. it was probably considered bulky. it had a loose battery. and best of all, it had a crack on the screen. a BIG crack. this crack is courtesy of zhi cong. because i dropped the phone on the concrete floor at the pathway near rinna's house while having a very emotional talk with him. emotional meaning, there were a lot of shouting. but because we were still thirteen then, there wasn't swearing. expect maybe the occasional "shit you."

anyway, despite all its shortcoming, it was a good phone. it was a good phone, because unlike many of the phones my peers possessed then, my phone can actually store more than a 100 messages. i think. so while pei shan, yvonne and scribbling down the cute cute sms they received because their phones' memory space didn't allow them to keep it, i was beside them laughing. really loud. like how my phone once rang really loud in the middle of geography test.

so, yeah. the reason i kept the phone and didn't want to trade it in? no, not because i would probably obtain 0 bucks from it (thanks to its poor conditions) but because of the cute cute smses inside. i don't know about you, but whenever i feel down, whenever i feel bored, whenever i cannot get to sleep, i would read through these messages and it would just bring a smile to my face.

so, on to the 3100. at the end of its 2 and a half years journey with me, its keypads became faded, its vibration don't always work, it's luminous strip came off and best of all, it receives messages that were sent eons ago. yes, i don't really take care of my phones very well. i don't use a handphone pouch, unlike many of the girls out there. reason being i never seem to put the phone back into the pouch after i finished using it. it sort of end back up in my pocket without the pouch. and with the keys. which explains the condition of my 7370 now. it looks like it has been with me since 2000 rather than june this year.

so, anyway, it also had a lot of cute smses. over a hundred effect. and some of the messages were really really very nice. and sweet. there was this one that ends with something like, "or you can be just like yourself and rock my life." like, awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

now, you may be thinking, WAH, not bad what. that means you have like 200 odd cute smses. QUITE IMPRESSIVE LEH. sad to say, i only have 38 cute smses now. and they are all in my 7370.

see, when i was in sec 3, the GREAT TSUNAMI struck. my brother, being the kind and compassionate soul he is, decided to volunteer to help the victims in sri lanka. as he feared for his sony ericsson k700i phone's safety, he decided to took my 6210 with him instead. he strapped on a rubber band (to prevent the loose battery from slipping) and off he went. that was the last time i saw 6210.

i wished i could say that it got drowned in the sea while my brother was helping the victims, you know. and that it died an honourable death. but that would be bullshit. the truth is, my brother brought back the phone. he brought it back and lent it to his friend. and of course, when things get lent to your brother's friends, you never see them again. goodbye 6210, you are missed.

the 3100 is another story. i lent it to someone whom i guess i thought i could trust to take care of my beloved phone. but of course, with me, you never have a happy ending. today i received an sms informing me that, hohoho, all the messages have been deleted. honestly, the phone can just go and commit suicide by itself now. i no longer have any use for it since i already gave up trying to beat the beach rally, bowling and snake high scores set by... myself.

yes, i am angry. and yes, i am pissed. but i guess, there's nothing i can do anymore anyway. i can't possibly hound my brother's friend. nor can i possibly try to do some magic and make the messages reappear again. but it still piss me off you know?


and i am tired. i think i'm tired both physically and mentally. sounds cliche, i agree. but that's the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

i am tired of the fact that whatever i did, no matter how much i did, i am made to feel that i did nothing at all. it really suck, you get what i mean? like fuck, i sacrifice my sleep, i sacrifice my time and all i get is, "she didn't do much what." some people are more kind, they don't say it out loud. they just express it with their eyes, their behaviour. OKAY, thanks.

i am on official grouchy mood from today onwards. beware when you approach me.


i'm not o-fucking-kay.