i tear my heart open,


see, we have to do some reflections at the end of the day everyday. and i thought i would just share mine with you today.

- i think its fucking assholic to not respond to an apology. especially if i took the initiative to apologise to you. like, hell. i can choose not to apologise ok.

- anyway, today was fun because tobias taught us and he's very handsome. X)

-our rocket never fly. which was sad. tobias' rocket flew. but because it went too fast and too high, it disappeared. which was sad too.

- i still feel fucking pissed. i think what i felt was hurt.

- so, yeah, it was like, really really cold.

- (deleted: extremely sensitive (or however you spell it)).

- i am so fucking pissed right now. ok. i felt hurt.

- i think i should stop writing. gah. bye.

- oh, and i miss monkey. i wish he was here. X(

and on my way back to my dorm,

- i hate the dark.

- i miss playing football.

- wait, i dont play football.

- ok then, i miss running.

- running allows you to think. to dream. to forget.

- i miss running.

- i think i should go running tomorrow morning.

- dont be siao, you need your sleep.

***

so, anyway, i wont be replying to any tags today. 'cause i dont like to sound really fucking pissed moody in my tags. i like to sound happy. and if i sound happy in my tag and sound really fucking pissed moody in my blog, i would end up sounding like you, who always sounds like you're gonna commit suicide in your blog and sounds like you have been kissed by the girl you love on your tag. you know who you are. i think. so, yeah.

by the way, cambridge has been quite nice so far. i saw an alonso lookalike. someone told me that guy is italian (even though i reallly really doubt so 'cause he's too good-looking to be one, but i guess someone who has been to italy knows better) so he couldnt be alonso's brother. which is sad.

and it is also sad when the people who really show care and concern for me are my so-called accquaintances and not my so-called friends. sometimes, i really wonder who is who. oh, well. shrugs.

you know, sometimes, i just wish God will just bring me Home.


(and i promise you, i will try my best to elaborate about cambridge. but not today. i also promise you that this will be my last 'sad' post. but, promises are always meant to be broken. so, there's no gurantees i will stick to these two promises.)


i sew myself shut.