face down in the dirt,


FROM 29/07/07's EDITION OF THE NEW PAPER:

David Beckham ensured that he left a lasting impression during one of his last appearances in England.
At Silverstone early this month to catch the British Grand Prix, he was asked by a television presenter, "is this your first time here for an F1 race?"
Beckham's reply?
"This is the first time I have been able to make it in person."
Go figure.
A superstar footballer he may be, but Einstein he is not.
Like his fellow millionaires in the sport, Beckham is often accused of lacking something in the logic department.
As they say, it's a funny old game. But some footballers take it too literally.

BECKSPEAK:

"My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7."

"Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had."

"We're definitely going to get Brooklyn christened, but we don't know into which religion."

"It's going to be difficult for me - I've never had to learn a language and now I do."

"Well, I can play in the centre, on the right, and occasionally on the left side." - Beckham, when asked if he thought he was a "volatile" player.

***

OTHERS:

"I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country." - Ian Rush, on why he failed at Juventus

"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona" - Can someone show Mark Draper where Spain is?

"The important thing was we got the three points" - Wayne Bridge on Chelsea's Carling Cup final win over Arsenal

"I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George (Ndah) had scored... My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing." - Ade Akinbiyi probably carries his mobile phone with him on the pitch

"I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable" - Paul Gascoigne shows he's no maths genius

"If Glenn Hoddle said one word to his team at half-time, it was concentration and focus." - Ron Atkinson is no maths genius, too

"Robert Lee was able to do some running on his groin for the first time." - Glenn Hoddle lauds Lee's pain threshold

"They could've thrown a kitchen sink into the box and one of the guys would've headed it." - Paul Lambert lauds the Scots' bravery/stupidity against the Dutch

"When you're 4-0 up, you should never lose 7-1." - Laurie McMenemy's logic

"Home advantage gives you an advantage." - Bobby Robson's logic

"I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock." - Barry Venison is obviously one confused lad

"I would not be bothered if we lost every game, as long as we won the league." - Tell us how, Mark Viduka

"Wayne Rooney can go all the way to the top if he keeps his head firmly on the ground." - David Unsworth knows a way to handle Rooney

"The 33- or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they're not careful." - Wise words from Kevin Keegan

"What i said to them at half-time would be unprintable on radio." - Gerry Francsi

"If history is going to repeat itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." - Terry Venables illustrates the art of stating the obvious

"Germany are a very difficult team to play - they had 11 internationals out there today." - Northern Ireland's Steve Lomas explains why Germany outplayed them

***


she said, "this doesn't hurt."